Sunday, March 30, 2008

I hate this loneliness that has overcome me.
I hate that buzzing ringing sound in my ear.
I hate how everything seems so empty and meaningless now.

I need school. I need to do work. I need to be preoccupied.

I need someone.

I am a space filler; a temporary filling that fills emptiness within people.
I am taken, bought, utilised for companionship. Thrown away after use - disposable.
I am promised eternal attention, and then forgotten a month after.
I am decorated.
I am a display item.

I wonder if I will dare to ever speak to that one person.
I really want to tell that one person how I am really grateful.
I hope that one person understands and accepts me.
I feel like I am happy around that one person.

I'm within this writing, and yet I am not.
I'm the spaces in this writing, and that person is the text.
I'm not needed by that person to make sense, but I feel settled.
I'm who I am not.

- _____ 30/3/2008 7.52pm

what we could have been, 7:45 PM.