Thursday, February 28, 2008
Why dost thou havth such painful eyes that bleed me.
Is this it? Have I finally come through to what is perceived as the final destination? How did I even come to this place, this freshness of the air, this purity of thought.
All in a dream. A passing illusion that blows the scent, as if taunting, by my eyes.
They burn. Oh how they burn so painfully. Spare me the pain. Please? Oh please. Why do you look upon me with watchful thoughts? How can you bear to leave me in my corner to heave my crown of thorns on my own? I don't understand. I do not understand.
Water - breather of life. God is pouring out my eyes, benevolently watching them bleed as he / she gushes out with unfeeling pressure. My covenant with Him is complete, but yet all is not entire, the job is still undone. I tear at these sights. These sights which are lay and folk in every aspect and angle of them. Is it the over demanding of my expectations? That the green I see just isin't green enough. Or the chirping just isint mellow enough to be music. I tear. I weep. I sow.
And I revert back to my corner once more. The valley towards it - a representation of my bodily pain. These eyes that stare at me whence i walk through, they are comforting. They are not real. Reality hurts. The law of reality dictates that death is absolute. The law of death orders men to cower in their own corner. Men are transient. Death is amaranthine. I see a man emerging from the wall. A man who, like me, crawls in as if his limbs have been absorbing the cries of the world, to be distorted and without form.
I stare through his eyes. I found my companion. His were the eyes that were so deep they seemed to hook you and brutally drag you in, akin to a slaughter house but yet they allure with a sense of harmlessness and innocence beyond compare. His were eyes of remarkable beauty and yet speak of such sophistication no Man could comprehend without aid. He has seen what suffering's true form is. He is enlightened with knowledge that we all live
seeking aimlessly and yet only he has so easily attained. Or did it come with a price?And i realised something. I found eyes that believed in me. I found eyes that shared the same tint as mine.
I am the Man In The Mirror.
There is absolutely no reference to Michael Jackson's Man In The Mirror apart from it being the song I am listening to now and the title being coincidentally apt.
Who's going to buy neverland?
Is this it? Have I finally come through to what is perceived as the final destination? How did I even come to this place, this freshness of the air, this purity of thought.
All in a dream. A passing illusion that blows the scent, as if taunting, by my eyes.
They burn. Oh how they burn so painfully. Spare me the pain. Please? Oh please. Why do you look upon me with watchful thoughts? How can you bear to leave me in my corner to heave my crown of thorns on my own? I don't understand. I do not understand.
Water - breather of life. God is pouring out my eyes, benevolently watching them bleed as he / she gushes out with unfeeling pressure. My covenant with Him is complete, but yet all is not entire, the job is still undone. I tear at these sights. These sights which are lay and folk in every aspect and angle of them. Is it the over demanding of my expectations? That the green I see just isin't green enough. Or the chirping just isint mellow enough to be music. I tear. I weep. I sow.
And I revert back to my corner once more. The valley towards it - a representation of my bodily pain. These eyes that stare at me whence i walk through, they are comforting. They are not real. Reality hurts. The law of reality dictates that death is absolute. The law of death orders men to cower in their own corner. Men are transient. Death is amaranthine. I see a man emerging from the wall. A man who, like me, crawls in as if his limbs have been absorbing the cries of the world, to be distorted and without form.
I stare through his eyes. I found my companion. His were the eyes that were so deep they seemed to hook you and brutally drag you in, akin to a slaughter house but yet they allure with a sense of harmlessness and innocence beyond compare. His were eyes of remarkable beauty and yet speak of such sophistication no Man could comprehend without aid. He has seen what suffering's true form is. He is enlightened with knowledge that we all live
seeking aimlessly and yet only he has so easily attained. Or did it come with a price?And i realised something. I found eyes that believed in me. I found eyes that shared the same tint as mine.
I am the Man In The Mirror.
There is absolutely no reference to Michael Jackson's Man In The Mirror apart from it being the song I am listening to now and the title being coincidentally apt.
Who's going to buy neverland?
what we could have been, 8:13 PM.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Men sometimes have to put on masks, layers and layers after layers of them. All for the sake of covering the tears behind them. But these masks, who are they for? The viewer or the viewed?
If mine were eyes that weren't opened would I've been happier? If mine were the eyes that have not seen what others do not, would i be glad? If mine were eyes that could not 'see', could I still have done all I have done?
I stared into those eyes blessed with perfection, its beauty grasping tightly on my attention. But within those eyes i did not see my own transient existence but within their deep captivity i saw pain i never saw before. I saw pain that did not originate from him but from everyone else. The pain that plagued each and every soul and matter in our world had all been clearly represented within those eyes who have seen the misery of our world. I cried.
If mine were eyes that weren't opened would I've been happier? If mine were the eyes that have not seen what others do not, would i be glad? If mine were eyes that could not 'see', could I still have done all I have done?
I stared into those eyes blessed with perfection, its beauty grasping tightly on my attention. But within those eyes i did not see my own transient existence but within their deep captivity i saw pain i never saw before. I saw pain that did not originate from him but from everyone else. The pain that plagued each and every soul and matter in our world had all been clearly represented within those eyes who have seen the misery of our world. I cried.
what we could have been, 8:28 PM.
Friday, February 22, 2008
It was a rather relaxing day today i suppose. Woke up at around... 7... cause i couldnt sleep anymore haha... Then lazed around... went to bathe after before heading out to cjc.
Initially took the bus from the wrong side haha... then had to go over to the other side to take :S waste money.
Reached CJC at around like... 8.40... 8.50 liddat or so. Haha... actually theres nothing wrong with the school... i mean its a nice place and all... having a little regrets about my decision now... but ... the grass is always greener on the other side... especially when you go over and look back again.... Catholic school and all... it was kinda "welcoming" and "home-ly"
Went to the office to get my transfer letter signed and chopped. Waited so long. Like... just sat there and i dunno... stare at the clock haha. Was abit awkward... i mean like... transfering out of the school then just sit there like :S... especially when they ask my cca and i was like... "errr... ncc and legion of mary" then the counter person like "err think dont put any better". Was like... shit... im such a jerk.
Sorry CJC, my heart just didnt belong there... it was always with njc though second best is sajc.
So bussed down after that ( took like... 45mins ) to sajc. Got to say, was really displeased with that woman from the school... right after got the transfer letter back she like so fast want to chase me out... initially planned to have breakfast in cjc but.. bah
Hopped onto 154 where xiwen was waiting haha.. walked into sajc (:... handed my form! woot im a sajc student now :D Welcome my new life haha... gotta change the blog's profile sometime =/ Will miss NJC =(
Hanged around haha... the chicken rice was good (:
Jingxi and gang came by later afterwards to crash sajc haha... was really shocked :P. Well i had fun afterwards playing catch ball and basketball (:
Initially took the bus from the wrong side haha... then had to go over to the other side to take :S waste money.
Reached CJC at around like... 8.40... 8.50 liddat or so. Haha... actually theres nothing wrong with the school... i mean its a nice place and all... having a little regrets about my decision now... but ... the grass is always greener on the other side... especially when you go over and look back again.... Catholic school and all... it was kinda "welcoming" and "home-ly"
Went to the office to get my transfer letter signed and chopped. Waited so long. Like... just sat there and i dunno... stare at the clock haha. Was abit awkward... i mean like... transfering out of the school then just sit there like :S... especially when they ask my cca and i was like... "errr... ncc and legion of mary" then the counter person like "err think dont put any better". Was like... shit... im such a jerk.
Sorry CJC, my heart just didnt belong there... it was always with njc though second best is sajc.
So bussed down after that ( took like... 45mins ) to sajc. Got to say, was really displeased with that woman from the school... right after got the transfer letter back she like so fast want to chase me out... initially planned to have breakfast in cjc but.. bah
Hopped onto 154 where xiwen was waiting haha.. walked into sajc (:... handed my form! woot im a sajc student now :D Welcome my new life haha... gotta change the blog's profile sometime =/ Will miss NJC =(
Hanged around haha... the chicken rice was good (:
Jingxi and gang came by later afterwards to crash sajc haha... was really shocked :P. Well i had fun afterwards playing catch ball and basketball (:
what we could have been, 8:27 PM.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Movies i plan to watch in Feb + March
Jumper
Ps. I Love You
Juno
CJ7
Kungfu Dunk
Ah Long Ptd Ltd
Sweeney Todd
Death Note: L Change the world
Sky Of Love
bold + italics : watched
italics : plans made
Jumper
Ps. I Love You
Juno
CJ7
Kungfu Dunk
Ah Long Ptd Ltd
Sweeney Todd
Death Note: L Change the world
Sky Of Love
bold + italics : watched
italics : plans made
what we could have been, 11:13 PM.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Not much happened today. As in... just usual stuff. CAAL project going to be joined together with the people from S22, some of them are irritating haha. Bio was a killer... literally went brain dead after - stared at empty space for a looooong time.
Softball training was better haha... Basic core training and stuff... my batting has vastly improved (: almost all perfect hits ( as in... good hits ) and those that werent were because of wee seng's lousy tossing up skills. Terrible tosser that idiot >.<
Quartz hurting as usual haha. Met laura on the way out... found out she stays in thomson :O and takes 74 as well haha... awkward atmosphere when sitting next to her.. prolly cus im just almost brain and physically dead and she's had a long day. Tried sparking conversations but they all died down pretty quickly haha. Im a bad person to chat with =/
Chang was acting funny... sad yesterday =(... as was with Elphin as you can see. Here is a poem that you can probably relate alot to. Hope it cheers both of you up (:
The Wild Swans At Coole
THE trees are in their autumn beauty,
The woodland paths are dry,
Under the October twilight the water
Mirrors a still sky;
Upon the brimming water among the stones
Are nine-and-fifty Swans.
The nineteenth autumn has come upon me
Since I first made my count;
I saw, before I had well finished,
All suddenly mount
And scatter wheeling in great broken rings
Upon their clamorous wings.
I have looked upon those brilliant creatures,
And now my heart is sore.
All's changed since I, hearing at twilight,
The first time on this shore,
The bell-beat of their wings above my head,
Trod with a lighter tread.
Unwearied still, lover by lover,
They paddle in the cold
Companionable streams or climb the air;
Their hearts have not grown old;
Passion or conquest, wander where they will,
Attend upon them still.
But now they drift on the still water,
Mysterious, beautiful;
Among what rushes will they build,
By what lake's edge or pool
Delight men's eyes when I awake some day
To find they have flown away?
- W.B. Yeats
Softball training was better haha... Basic core training and stuff... my batting has vastly improved (: almost all perfect hits ( as in... good hits ) and those that werent were because of wee seng's lousy tossing up skills. Terrible tosser that idiot >.<
Quartz hurting as usual haha. Met laura on the way out... found out she stays in thomson :O and takes 74 as well haha... awkward atmosphere when sitting next to her.. prolly cus im just almost brain and physically dead and she's had a long day. Tried sparking conversations but they all died down pretty quickly haha. Im a bad person to chat with =/
Chang was acting funny... sad yesterday =(... as was with Elphin as you can see. Here is a poem that you can probably relate alot to. Hope it cheers both of you up (:
The Wild Swans At Coole
THE trees are in their autumn beauty,
The woodland paths are dry,
Under the October twilight the water
Mirrors a still sky;
Upon the brimming water among the stones
Are nine-and-fifty Swans.
The nineteenth autumn has come upon me
Since I first made my count;
I saw, before I had well finished,
All suddenly mount
And scatter wheeling in great broken rings
Upon their clamorous wings.
I have looked upon those brilliant creatures,
And now my heart is sore.
All's changed since I, hearing at twilight,
The first time on this shore,
The bell-beat of their wings above my head,
Trod with a lighter tread.
Unwearied still, lover by lover,
They paddle in the cold
Companionable streams or climb the air;
Their hearts have not grown old;
Passion or conquest, wander where they will,
Attend upon them still.
But now they drift on the still water,
Mysterious, beautiful;
Among what rushes will they build,
By what lake's edge or pool
Delight men's eyes when I awake some day
To find they have flown away?
- W.B. Yeats
what we could have been, 8:37 PM.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Haha Happy Chinese New Year? ( got to say it while i still can )
Well, havnt' updated in a long while so here goes
Firstly, most importantly, i freakin got 9 for L1R5 and im not happy =(... grah. Stupid English. Stupid Chem. Bleh. Well at least lit+SS got A1 (:
My back injury didnt really heal... but recently mum and dad brought me to the Chinese Sinseh where i got my back fixed... as in... well he tried to fix it anyway. Cracked many bones here and there haha... its much better now.
Had indigestion these few days >.<... stomach going crazy haha!
Bought a new guitar! An acoustic yamaha one and it sounds awesome. Callouses on my fingertips getting really hard haha... not used to playing an acoustic since it takes alot more strength to press the strings down and the bridge is much wider >.<... trying to get used to it. Really lousy haha.
Watched KungfuDunk, staring Jay Chou as the main actor with peeps. Wasnt bad. Chang invited two of his friends as well. They were amicable and well.. even though didnt really "hang" out with them, fun to be with. Could tell (:
Still wanting to watch CJ7 by stephen chow and Ah Long Ptd Ltd by Jack Neo. Anyone interested in bringing me? (: Maybe my class will :=S
Dont really know what to blog about... but i suppose the 1 thing thats on my mind now is that im going to fail maths O.o and then retain and then jus die. haha... >.> Oh that and valentine's day. I managed to settle the gift to my classmates ( Sharing cost of the flowers with Kah Lok ) and making a few personalised notes ( hopefully pictures, if i can take them tomorrow and print them of course ).
Elphin is sad =( Cheer up bro. Softball ftw.
Confused. Over many things. Changes are rampant and.. well i hope im able to take them on.
Listening to Sum41 again. Great stress relievers haha. The old sum41 btw... not the new crappy one.
I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep; up above in my head instead of going under
Well, havnt' updated in a long while so here goes
Firstly, most importantly, i freakin got 9 for L1R5 and im not happy =(... grah. Stupid English. Stupid Chem. Bleh. Well at least lit+SS got A1 (:
My back injury didnt really heal... but recently mum and dad brought me to the Chinese Sinseh where i got my back fixed... as in... well he tried to fix it anyway. Cracked many bones here and there haha... its much better now.
Had indigestion these few days >.<... stomach going crazy haha!
Bought a new guitar! An acoustic yamaha one and it sounds awesome. Callouses on my fingertips getting really hard haha... not used to playing an acoustic since it takes alot more strength to press the strings down and the bridge is much wider >.<... trying to get used to it. Really lousy haha.
Watched KungfuDunk, staring Jay Chou as the main actor with peeps. Wasnt bad. Chang invited two of his friends as well. They were amicable and well.. even though didnt really "hang" out with them, fun to be with. Could tell (:
Still wanting to watch CJ7 by stephen chow and Ah Long Ptd Ltd by Jack Neo. Anyone interested in bringing me? (: Maybe my class will :=S
Dont really know what to blog about... but i suppose the 1 thing thats on my mind now is that im going to fail maths O.o and then retain and then jus die. haha... >.> Oh that and valentine's day. I managed to settle the gift to my classmates ( Sharing cost of the flowers with Kah Lok ) and making a few personalised notes ( hopefully pictures, if i can take them tomorrow and print them of course ).
Elphin is sad =( Cheer up bro. Softball ftw.
Confused. Over many things. Changes are rampant and.. well i hope im able to take them on.
Listening to Sum41 again. Great stress relievers haha. The old sum41 btw... not the new crappy one.
I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep; up above in my head instead of going under
what we could have been, 8:24 PM.
